Kamis, 14 Mei 2009

Feeling oh so BRAVE!

Beware this is a long one!

I have never considered myself to be very brave- when I was a little girl I was scared to get down off the kitchen chair because it seemed so high and I sat on it in fear for hours (a story I have never lived down). When I learned to swim I had to be bribed (with a set of sesame street books) to jump off the diving board because I was too afraid to jump into water.  My first day of first grade I was afraid to wear my new purple outfit to school and stood in the hallway as my mom talked me down from my fear of entering class...I have a million of these stories throughout my life- hillarious now but very telling about my character.  I am often cautious, I take my time and I have battled fear my whole life.  

Today as I press publish on this post I am heading to a meeting where my resignation of Assistant Director of Print and Brand Marketing at the University of San Diego will be announced.  Yep, I am quitting my job during a recession- as crazy as this sounds, I have never been so at peace and fearless about a decision.  Since I was 15 years old, I have been chasing a dream of being an artist, I studied art all through school, I took icky jobs just to be able to make art on the side and now at 34- after being afraid for a long time of what it means to be a full time artist- I have come to a place of accepting that I don't fit into working for someone else. (What else do I really expect.. my parents have been entrepenuers and artists my whole life!)  And I am done- finished- and over thinking that a "normal" job is going to click for me.  Thankfully my creative career has been moving REALLY FAST and it is getting hard for me to keep up with everything while working a day job. 

The writing has been on the wall for a LONG time...and after years of hard work, time spent trying to live fearless, it it time for me to jump, to hold my breath and leap into the arms of my true love- my passion- the one thing that has always defined me- the desire to be an artist- all the time!  (I've come A LONG way since being afraid of getting off a chair!!) So while you are reading this post (faithful readers and amazing supporters) know that I will be bursting on the inside with joy, laughing quietly and feeling oh so BRAVE as I sit through one of my last meetings in a "normal" job.  More to come...

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